Dear People of Southern California,
As we all know that Carmageddon is coming this weekend or at least, I hope we’re all aware that portions of the 405 will be closed. I, much to my dismay, caught a sneak preview of Carmageddon while attempting to go to the Best Coast show at the Getty Center. That portion of Sepulveda Blvd surrounding the Getty was a nightmare as throngs of cool kids and parents dropping off their tween offspring slowly inched their way to the parking center. I can only imagine things being worse when the freeways are closed. If you have to drive that way, bring empty bottles because you will be sitting in your car for very long periods of time, in either direction.
While I’ve been making great strides with my anxiety (I feel that if I listen to something like The Best Show on WFMU or something from the Brainfeeder label and refrain from drinking any liquids for 20 to 30 minutes before driving, I’ll be okay), however, this Carmageddon media onslaught has gotten the best of me. I’m afraid of the freeways this weekend. All of them. Every single one and I just believe the best way to beat them is to bunker down and stock up on food to cook over an open flame.
Not that a social butterfly by any stretch of the imagination (I’m working on it though), people of Southern California I can not hang out with you this coming weekend. Well, unless, you’re a person that I genuinely care about and love or if you have a reservation for dinner at Animal or you’re going to Flying Lotus’ house to listen records. Like, really think, perhaps even sleep on the decision.
So, Southern California, I’m going to cook chicken and fish over an open flame and continue to be disappointed by the Copa America instead of sitting in my car because we all have to slow down to an absolute crawl because there’s an electronic sign on the side road informing us that we should wear seat belts (which you should be in the first place) and things will be shutting down.
Sincerely,
Douglas Reinhardt
P.S. I’d leave the house to hang out with Ryan Gosling because I feel like I need him to become my life coach these days or at least, help pay for new clothes.
(via catmansmuckers)
